It's something I've said over and over again: New motherhood kind of kicked my butt. Last December, I had four months of doing the working mom dance under my belt. I was thrilled that Al had adjusted so well to "school," but I was devastated to think that that perfect, nurturing situation would not be permanent.
Al's first birthday was quickly approaching, and I had weaning on my mind. I also realized that having an early January baby meant that I would forever have to plan birthday parties and send out birthday invitations the week before Christmas. That's brilliant timing right there, y'all.
On the work front, I was packing to change classes mid-year.
I was pretty much hanging on by a thread.
My thread-clinging became painfully evident the Monday before Christmas. We had spent the weekend with my dad's family, exchanging gifts with people we see once a year (that's a whole 'nother post right there), sleeping in a strange bed with a sleep-eschewing almost-toddler. When we got home Sunday night, I stayed up late getting clothes and lesson plans and bottles and lunches ready for Monday.
The week before, I had frantically been trying to complete the list of gifts to purchase for the gift-exchange at my dad's, so I still had a few things to buy before Christmas.
That's how I found myself that Monday afternoon, after The Weekend of No Rest and a full day of work, in a bookstore buying a giftcard for one of Al's teachers. I had requested the card, tendered my payment and was ready to head out when the cashier asked for my phone number.
Um.
*crickets*
Total blank. Nothing. Nada.
I know my home phone number. It is a very easy number to remember. But that day, my mind had already checked out, and I was sure my body wasn't far behind.
I made something up, snatched up the card, and got the hell out of there.
For days, that moment haunted me, and other similar moments followed. I actually feared that something might be wrong with me. Something was wrong, alright, I was tired. And stressed smooth out.
This year, though, things are a little easier. I'm pretty sure the the presents I'm giving don't suck and I've found time to make some special goodies to share, and I can pretty much guarantee that there will be no more forgotten phone numbers. In part, I think it's because I've found my groove on the Motherhood Highway. In part, I think it's because there are fewer things that are wigging me out this year.
But mostly, it's because I've finally learned to let some things go (like those baskets full of fancy homemade cookies I used to give) and embrace the fun stuff.
3 comments:
Beautiful picture! I remember that once I forgot my own daughter's name when she was 3 months old. The deli woman asked and I just looked at her for a few minutes before shrugging and walking away.
Glad this year is easier.
anne at annenahm.com
It's good to just let go of things...and to be okay with letting go!
Beautiful picture!
So things get easier? Even around the holidays? I will remember this as my inspiration. Cause this year, it sucked. I've forgotten my cell phone number and many many other things, and there is just too much to do around the holidays.
Great picture!
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