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Yesterday, I wrote, published and then promptly deleted an entry because it just felt too braggy.

But I want you to understand the gist, and I think I can write it without the brag: Five years ago, my life was just peachy—on the outside. On the inside, it was pretty damned craptastic and I wasn’t sure that it would ever change. Somehow, though, during the next few years, I managed to make some fortunate decisions that led me to where I am today. Right now, the outside isn’t all that fabulous but the inside is doing pretty damned well, and I’m gosh-darned proud of that.

My motivation for writing that entry was that yesterday was my 35^th birthday. When the Mr. asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I honestly could think of nothing. For once in my life, I am content. When pressed, though, I decided that I wanted to do some shopping and I wanted some beer. And that’s exactly what I got. Alex slept for 2 ½ hours in his stroller while I perused my favorite shops and stocked up on a few more in-between staples, and after we all went for a walk in the park, we headed across the county line (why we have to drive 20 miles just to get a couple of six-packs is another post entirely) to get Mama some beer. And all was well.

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I am returning to work full-time next week. I’m still not sure how I feel about that, but the knot in my stomach says I’m dreading it. The ten weeks that I’ve had to mother my little boy 24/7 have been the most precious weeks of my life, and seeing them come to an end brings me to tears.