Thursday, March 16, 2006

Insert Title Here

Yesterday, I wrote, published and then promptly deleted an entry because it just felt too braggy.

But I want you to understand the gist, and I think I can write it without the brag: Five years ago, my life was just peachy—on the outside. On the inside, it was pretty damned craptastic and I wasn’t sure that it would ever change. Somehow, though, during the next few years, I managed to make some fortunate decisions that led me to where I am today. Right now, the outside isn’t all that fabulous but the inside is doing pretty damned well, and I’m gosh-darned proud of that.

My motivation for writing that entry was that yesterday was my 35th birthday. When the Mr. asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I honestly could think of nothing. For once in my life, I am content. When pressed, though, I decided that I wanted to do some shopping and I wanted some beer. And that’s exactly what I got. Alex slept for 2 ½ hours in his stroller while I perused my favorite shops and stocked up on a few more in-between staples, and after we all went for a walk in the park, we headed across the county line (why we have to drive 20 miles just to get a couple of six-packs is another post entirely) to get Mama some beer. And all was well.



I am returning to work full-time next week. I’m still not sure how I feel about that, but the knot in my stomach says I’m dreading it. The ten weeks that I’ve had to mother my little boy 24/7 have been the most precious weeks of my life, and seeing them come to an end brings me to tears.

3 comments:

Isabel said...

Happy Birthday to you. I'm loved reading that you are happy in your life. I think we all deserve to be happy. What a wonderful feeling!

I'm also glad you got everything you wanted for your day. Sounds like it was a good day.

I'm sure going back to work will be hard (I can't even imagine what that will be like). You're strong, so I'm sure it will work out.

I'm anxious to hear all about it, since I'll be doing that same thing (you know, once I actually have this baby).

Her Bad Mother said...

Happy Birthday! I'm so glad that you had such a lovely day, and even more glad that it was just one more day in an already unsurpassably lovely life...

I haven't faced full days away from E yet, but I can wholly empathize with the fear and the sad. The days to come will still be lovely days, just different.

ninepounddictator said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!
I was just talking to a friend, dreading to go back to work...
Of course, you're dreading it....it's work!
But maybe you'll feel better about it, because you now are happy, happy, happy....
It's good to be happy...v. good.
we want to know about your first day!

PS. I loved the fact you asked for beer for your birthday. I might have to follow suit.